Somatic Grief Recovery

 

Understanding Grief: Navigating the Complex Journey of Healing

Somatic Therapy and Your Grief Healing:

Grief is deeply embodied experience. In grief our heart is broken. We can experience Broken Heart Syndrome know as Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy.

Our lungs could collapse and constrict so we can’t take a normal breath.

Burden of guilt and internal judgment can be felt as pain in our neck and shoulders.

Stoicism or isolation to endure grief by ourself can be felt in kidneys as adrenal fatigue and lower back pain.

Our brain can go in numbness and memory loss.

Anger and rage is felt as TMJ, pain in our jaw and pelvic floor.

Grief is somatic experience of bodily burnout.

Somatic therapy offers you a holistic approach to healing that recognizes the profound connection between your body and emotional experience of trauma. It places importance on your physical sensations, movements, and your body’s innate wisdom in processing and resolving emotional trauma of loss and grief.

When you experience loss and grief, your body often responds with a range of physical sensations and emotional reactions. Somatic therapy acknowledges that these bodily experiences are not separate from your grief but integral to your healing process. By working with your body, you can gain a deeper understanding of your grief and facilitate its release.

Grief is a profound emotion that extends beyond the loss of a loved one. It’s a journey of the broken heart that can be triggered by various life experiences.  We can be in a process of grieving:

• Loss of Self: A sense of lost identity and agency due to the trauma, abuse, PTSD.
• Childhood Grief: Unresolved childhood traumas and pains.
• Inner Child Healing: Reconnecting with and healing your inner child.
• Family You Never Had: Mourning the absence of the family you wished for.
• Neglected Self-Care: Regret over time spent caring for others at your own expense.
• Unreturned Relationships: The ache of one-sided intimate, family, or business connections.
• Shattered Dreams: Coping with the loss of aspirations and possibilities.
• Diminished Confidence: Grieving the erosion of self-esteem and self-worth.
• Beloved Pets: The heartache of losing a cherished dog, cat or any other animal companion.
• Loss of Innocence: The anguish of innocence lost to childhood trauma.
• Health Setbacks: Grieving the loss of good health and physical capabilities. Living with ADHD or living with ADHD partner, injuries, diagnosis.
• Mental Health Challenges of Loved Ones: Coping with the impact of a loved one’s addiction, depression, or BPD.
• Disconnected Relationships: The pain of drifting apart from your children or community you belonged.
• Upended Homes: Grieving the loss of your home, country, or cherished neighbourhood due to the immigration, wars, move.
• Parenthood Challenges: The sadness of fertility struggles or unfulfilled parenting dreams.
• Painful Breakups: Healing from the end of a significant relationship.
• Terminal Illness: Navigating the impending loss of a beloved person.

In many societies, grief beyond the death of a loved one often goes unnoticed, dismissed, or even shamed. It’s vital to acknowledge that these diverse grief experiences are valid and need space for healing. Dismissing your grief with statements like “you’re alive, so be grateful” denies the depth of your emotions. This is especially true for individuals like war veterans’ widows or first responders’ partners, who are sometimes expected to stifle their grief because their loved ones’ sacrifices were seen as noble.

Unaddressed grief can lead to emotional burnout and long-lasting trauma. In today’s world, we face a myriad of grief triggers, including social injustices, environmental crises, displacement, war, job loss, housing instability, isolation, divorce, estranged relationships with children, and more.

Two distinct forms of grief, often overlooked, are:

• Ambiguous Grief: The sorrow of grieving someone who is still alive including yourself.
• Anticipatory Grief: The pain of anticipating a future loss, whether it’s a person, pet, home, or job.

Grief resides not only in our hearts but also in our bodies. When we experience loss, our nervous system responds by shutting down, impacting our physical and emotional well-being. In Western culture, there is often a tendency to either avoid or become consumed by grief, making it challenging to establish a healthy relationship with it.

It’s crucial to understand that the traditional stages of grief do not operate on a fixed timeline. There’s no set schedule for overcoming your grief; it’s a unique journey for each individual.

Healing Through Somatic Grief Recovery

The Vagus Nerve and Your Nervous System:

The vagus nerve plays a crucial role in your autonomic nervous system, regulating involuntary bodily functions such as heart rate, digestion, and breathing. It’s pivotal in your body’s response to stress, trauma, and emotional experiences.

The vagus nerve has two branches: the sympathetic and parasympathetic. The sympathetic branch activates during stressful or threatening situations, initiating the body’s “fight or flight” response. Conversely, the parasympathetic branch, often known as the “rest and digest” system, helps your body return to a state of calm and equilibrium after a stressor has passed.

Healing Your Grief with Somatic Modalities:

In the context of your grief, somatic modalities aim to regulate your autonomic nervous system, especially the vagus nerve. The goal is to help you shift from a state of heightened stress (sympathetic dominance) to a state of relaxation and healing (parasympathetic dominance). Here’s how this process can work for you:

1. Body Awareness: Somatic therapy encourages you to become more attuned to your bodily sensations and emotions. By recognizing physical manifestations of grief, such as tension, tightness, or discomfort, you can begin to address and release these stored emotions.
2. Breath and Movement: Somatic modalities often incorporate practices that focus on your breath and movement. These techniques can help regulate your vagus nerve, promoting relaxation and reducing the physical and emotional tension associated with your grief.
3. Emotional Release: As you engage in somatic therapy, you may experience emotional release. This can manifest as tears, sighs, or other expressions of pent-up emotions. Allowing these emotions to surface and be acknowledged is an essential part of your healing process.
4. Window of Tolerance: By working with somatic modalities, you can expand your “window of tolerance” within your nervous system. This means you can tolerate a wider range of emotional experiences without becoming overwhelmed, enabling a more balanced response to your grief.

Somatic therapy acknowledges the integral role of your body and your nervous system in your grief healing process. By utilizing somatic modalities to regulate your vagus nerve and your autonomic nervous system, you can enhance your capacity to process and release your grief, ultimately moving towards a state of emotional healing and well-being.

Recognizing the Signs of Grieving and Grief Burnout

Grieving can manifest in various ways, and it’s essential to recognize the signs, such as:

• Fluctuating emotions throughout the day, including sadness, anger, and depression.
• Feeling emotionally and physically drained.
• Experiencing constant brain fog and forgetfulness.
• Struggling with ambivalence toward life—neither desiring to live nor contemplating suicide.
• Believing that something is inherently wrong with you.
• Suppressing emotions through substance use or pretending everything is fine.
• Hiding your feelings to avoid judgment from others.
• Experiencing shame when expressing joy, happiness, or excitement.
• Battling an inner voice that criticizes your response to grief.
• Frequent self-directed anger and an inability to move forward.
• Self-blame for the circumstances of your grief.
• Feeling unproductive and overwhelmed.
• Constantly replaying scenarios in your mind, wishing you had acted differently.
• Fear of getting close to others and subsequent self-isolation.
• Self-sabotaging behaviors and destructive tendencies.
• Anxiety about social situations and going outside, stemming from fear of rejection.

Remember, you are not alone in your grief journey. By utilizing the tools and support available, you can honor your grief, process it, and begin the path toward healing.

Join individual or 6-week Online Somatic Workouts Groups from comfort of your home for gentle, guided exercise for trauma and grief recovery.